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In part 1 and part 2 of this blog series I taught you a couple of simple yet powerful techniques for diffusing your anger before it has the chance to become toxic and spill out onto others poisoning everyone around, including you.

In this post, I will address how you can protect yourself from others who might direct anger at you and keep their excessive energy from triggering your anger.

If you are in a volatile relationship, you may not be the only one expressing toxic anger. Very likely you learned the energetic habit of attention that causes your anger to overflow from others in your life. It’s useful to know how to keep others’ anger out of your own energy field as that simply puts a strain on your field and can cause you to be quicker to anger.

You can use the Bubble Technique for protecting yourself from the anger of others. This technique trains you to use an impenetrable bubble to keep out the harmful anger of others.

In reality this bubble already exists around you, but most people have never been trained to notice it or interact with it. Just like every cell in your body has a protective membrane, and the earth has the protective barrier of the atmosphere, you too have a protective edge around your personal space. This space is sometimes called an auric field. It extends in an egg shape all around you about as far out as your arm span, as well as above and below you.

By using the practice of putting your attention on the edge of your energy field, you can strengthen it and considerably enhance its effectiveness.


  • Focus – Put your attention on the edge of your energy field.
  • Center – Center yourself in your bubble. Your edge should be approximately at the end of your arms extended out fully. Sometimes you may find it’s cramped and too close to your body. Sometimes you might find it’s diffuse and too far from your body. Push it out or pull it in as necessary to center yourself.
  • Strengthen – Imagine your auric edge being impenetrable. You can fill it with light or a color that feels powerful to you. Imagine it’s surface as titanium or teflon.
  • Shape – Shape the front of your bubble into a point, like the bow of a boat. Place the point of your boat at the outside edge of the angry person then simply allow their energy to pass by you on your left and right like water passing by the boat. This way you can listen and learn without taking on being mowed down by their rage.

Another technique is a “buttonektomy.” For decades I have listened while people ask me to teach their partners how NOT to push their buttons. While this is a worthy and understandable desire, it is suboptimal. A better request is to ask for help dealing with your internal issues so that you have no buttons to push.

Tj Bartel is an author, teacher and coach who helps men and couples create passionate, harmonious, and loving relationships that last through his signature combination of modern neuroscience, cutting edge personal growth techniques, and ancient Tantric and Taoist wisdom.

If you want help learning and practicing these and other life-enhancing techniques, visit Tj’s website and check out the Great Lover Blueprint Course and his private coaching sessions.